You suspect that your spouse is cheating on you? You think that your boss is intentionally prolonging the long-awaited promotion? You are convinced that your friend is avoiding you for some reason? These are the questions that are in our head from time to time, and because of that here are few tips that can help you discover if someone is lying to you.
Dr. Paul Seager, a psychologist at the University of Lancaster, in his book Would I lie to you? he reveals how people lied and he broke some of the common myths about lying. Here are a few of his tips that can help you to easily identify liars in your environment, but also to stop believing in myths about identifying lies.
The biggest myth about lying is that people who lie avoid looking directly into your eyes. Good liars actually look right in the eye longer and harder than someone who does not lie, because they know that people believe that liars avoid a direct eye contact.
Another myth states that a person that is lying shows great discomfort, and is constantly fidgeting. The opposite is true. When someone has to invent a lie, he eliminates all the attention from the body and directs it to the brain. The result is an unusually calm liar, and much calmer person than it really should be in that situation.
WATCHING UP AND RIGHT
The third myth is that the person that is lying is usually fixed on some view point. This is not confirmed by any investigation. It is believed that when our view is going up or down and left or right, we actually dig in our memory and then we are telling the truth. However, our sentences are involving different types of memories that stimulate different parts of the brain. So Dr. Seager believes that it is a myth as well.
TON OF THE VOICE
When a person is lying, its voice becomes slightly higher. Scientists believe that a slightly higher voice than usual is a sign that those people are most likely lying. The problem is that it is very difficult to see. If it comes to people you know, then you can see if their voice changes the color when you ask awkward questions. If it is a bit high, it is most likely that it is the someone who really lies.
When a some person lies, it must concentrate on the story, and this usually results in easy answers. If you want to catch a person in a lie, let him tell you what he intended, and then start with a series of questions on it. If that person lies, his answers will be quite vague and they will lack in details.
This is a technique often used by police officers. They will ask someone to explain their version of a particular event. Then they will request that person to explain that again, but this time start from the end. If someone lies, it will be very difficult and it is most likely that a person will become confused.
SPEED OF THE RESPONSE
Experts call this latent period of reaction time, and this is the time it takes a person to answer the question. If someone is lying, it will invest a lot of effort to come up with a lie, and for that is needed some time. Then it comes to a short pause between the set of questions and answers.
If you think your partner is cheating on you, you should ask him a direct question: Are you cheating on me? It is important to listen carefully to the answer. If answer is: No, of course not, you can somewhat be sure that your partner is telling the truth. However, if the answer to your question is: How can you ask me that? How long we know each other? I am shocked at the moment... it will be suspicious. Namely, it is typical to avoid the true answer and the person who says it is most likely lying.
If you talk to someone who is relaxed and calm, you can determine what is its normal behavior, or what it is in a normal circumstances. When you set it a specific question and it suddenly change behavior, you can be sure that something suspicious is going on.